Breakfast Dates

[thisgirlsays22]

 

While watching Strange Bedfellows, I became inexplicably Fucking Obsessed with the two scenes that talk about breakfast dates and all the ways to read into What Happens. Fair warning, I indulge in some interpretations that lend themselves nicely to Fraser/RayK foundation. 

Let me just start by saying: Stella, if Ray does not want to go on a breakfast date with you, I volunteer as tribute. I feel like a boozy brunch would suit us and I would not just demand Ray facts from you, I swear. 

(Apologies for the font changes. I wrote a lot of this in another text editor and I couldn't be asked to fuck around with the html editor on this to clean it up right now.) 

We have an initial scene where Ray is upset because Stella is at Orsini’s house in the morning when he and Fraser arrive to pick him up. In Ray's mind this can only mean she spent the night and had sex with Orsini. (One thing I found interesting was that this is despite the fact that I believe we saw her leave to get a cab home the night before and I do not buy that Ray would have driven away before she got into a cab safely. Although I suppose she could have gone into Orsini’s house and then he left instead of sticking around to see if she gets said cab so sure, okay, maybe.) 

Fraser: Well, now we don't know that. I mean that may be the case but on the other hand perhaps she just came by for a breakfast date. 

Ray: A breakfast date? 

Fraser: Well sure, people have luncheon dates, dinner dates, why not a breakfast date? 

Ray: Because it's um...what's the word? Stupid. 

Fraser: What's so stupid about that? I mean eating together is eating together. I don't see how the time of day is relevant. 

Ray: It's relevant because people go on dates to get into bed, not out of them. 

Fraser: That's an extremely narrow interpretation... 

Ray: You know, Fraser, if I want to know how to track musk ox across the tundra, fine. But when it comes to the dating habits of The Stella, I happen to be an expert. 

Fraser: All I'm trying to say is... 

Ray: Plus it would take an act of God to get her out of bed. I don't' think she drove an hour across town just to chomp cereal with muttonhead.

And then later we get: 

Stella: Do you, uh... I mean, do you want to... [indicates coming inside] 

Ray: Yeah, I do. But...like, I don't think that's a...that's a good idea, because we might... Look, it just seems like the wrong time. 

Stella: Yeah. Always is. Well, hey, maybe a breakfast date sometime. You know, you, me, eggs over easy? 

Ray: That's, uh, kind of a dumb idea, Stella. It's like, uh... What? 

Stella: Nothing. 

Ray: You ok? 

Stella: Never better. 

[quick goodnight kiss] 

Stella: Good night. 

[Stella goes inside and closes door] 

Ray: Good...good night. 

[Ray starts to knock but leaves, walking back down the hallway] 

Ray: I suck.  

(online transcript I pulled this from)

What just laying out the script here doesn’t really capture is this flash of deep hurt that goes across Stella’s face when Ray says, with complete derision and no sense of humour, “That's, uh, kind of a dumb idea, Stella.” 

A few things that jump out to me in no particular order: 

• This may be another indicator of some commonality between Stella and Fraser. He jumps straight to the idea of a breakfast date, which we see later Stella suggests herself, thus proving Fraser may have actually been correct in his suggestion. 
• Ray is absolutely wrong about an act of god needing to happen to get Stella out of bed and the fact that this might be something she wants to do. Another signal that something is just fundamentally broken between them (as she points out, it didn’t get hard for them to talk overnight.) 
• This was a huge signal to me that Ray is obsessing over Stella for reasons that have nothing to do with Stella the person as she exists now in any case. We know Ray has issues defining himself based on his relationship with Stella and later Fraser, so leaving this huge, key part of himself behind is terrifying. Being alone/having to start over/trying to go back to a better time because he’s not in a great headspace now. And I mean also maybe he’s struggling with unwanted attractions (and maybe Stella was aware of them, maybe it’s coming more to the forefront with Fraser. Lots of ways to play around with this and I’ve seen it done excellently in many fics in different ways.) 

• Ray: It's relevant because people go on dates to get into bed, not out of them. 

  Fraser: That's an extremely narrow interpretation... 
  I can't tell if Ray is just...posturing here? Speaking out of frustration at the situation? I mean it's totally possible he does feel this way or think other people feel this way but it casts an even more cynical light on him rejecting Stella's reaching out asking if he'd go on a breakfast date with her. I'm not sure I know exactly what to do with this but it stuck out to me. 

Other stray thoughts: 

I loved the contrast of the difficulty of Stella/Ray communicating versus the ease of Fraser/Ray this episode. The whole scene where they’re debating about the merits of the boring committee (council?) meeting is a delight. Ray opening up to Fraser about his difficulties letting go of Stella. Fraser knowing it’ll make Ray feel better if he hits Orsini with his door and RAY INSTANTLY KNOWING FRASER DID IT FOR HIM AND NOT BY ACCIDENT AND FRASER SHUSHING HIM IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. For all the issues they struggle with communication-wise as they experience partnership/marriage growing pains, this lays some really good groundwork for what works about their communication. 

Also just going to say this, Fraser and Ray probably have a lot of breakfast dates because, ya know, in Spy vs Spy for instance it is before 10 am and they’re hanging out going to play some chess before going apartment viewing so breakfast would not have been out of the question. 

Comments

[spacetimeconundrum]

Maybe part of why Ray doesn't believe in / is dismissive of breakfast dates because if he admitted that they ARE a thing, he'd also maybe have to admit what he's been doing with Fraser isn't just buddies?

(Spy vs Spy was totally a low-key date. I doubt either of them at the time realised this, but it totally was.)

[thisgirlsays22]

That...that would actually make his sharp defensiveness make a LOT of sense. FRASER AND I ARE JUST BUDDIES NOT DATING OVER BREAKFAST OR DINNER OR ANY OTHER SITUATION. His reaction was so odd to me and so not that of a guy who actually deep down wants to win his ex-wife back IMO.

"(Spy vs Spy was totally a low-key date. I doubt either of them at the time realised this, but it totally was.)"

Ray's eyes snap open one morning post CoTW and he's frantically shaking Fraser like, "Fraser, wake up. Was that time with the chess and the maybe old guy spy and the apartments a date?"

[feroxargentea]

they’re hanging out going to play some chess before going apartment viewing so breakfast would not have been out of the question.

Well that's not a breakfast date, that's an apartment viewing date, and oh wait, that's even gayer... :)

Ray's grumpiness about the eggs over easy reminds me of the bit in "The Ladies' Man" when Fraser flirts with some random woman to get information, inviting her for bark tea, and then Ray invites him over and offers him tea and then says he doesn't have any. It has the same edge of snottiness to it. I dunno, is this an uneasiness with dinner dates in general? Is it a defiant "if you want me, fine, but I'm not gonna bribe you with breakfast"??

[thisgirlsays22]

"Well that's not a breakfast date, that's an apartment viewing date, and oh wait, that's even gayer... :)" I'm crying yes it's so much gayer. Look, I'm just saying we don't *know* that they didn't get breakfast beforehand. THE TIMING LENDS ITSELF TO THIS HYPOTHESIS!

"Ray's grumpiness about the eggs over easy reminds me of the bit in "The Ladies' Man" when Fraser flirts with some random woman to get information, inviting her for bark tea, and then Ray invites him over and offers him tea and then says he doesn't have any. It has the same edge of snottiness to it."

Omg okay I'll keep an eye out for this when I get up to Ladies Man. God Ray's Fraser jealousy escalates so much. Even when Janet shows up he was so snotty, which is another little post I might make because of the whole [Ray looks grumpily between Fraser and Janet]"Fraser a word...those kids are immature."

"I dunno, is this an uneasiness with dinner dates in general? Is it a defiant "if you want me, fine, but I'm not gonna bribe you with breakfast"??"

RIGHT I'm just not sure. It was just so not what I expected from that scene. Stella was so warm and open and then the way she just snaps shut and closes up after he shuts her down actually hurt my heart. It was when things kinda clicked for me about the pain she must be in and why she knows things are over/doesn't want to keep going around and around in circles on this. It made me think the writers knew that deep down Ray knows he doesn't actually want to be with Stella. (Speranza's 8 Sessions verbalizes this really really well.)

[feroxargentea]

It's obviously a bad idea for Ray and Stella to sorta kinda temporarily hook up again, but Stella doesn't expect Ray to be the one pointing it out to *her*. He's not supposed to be the sensible mature one. That's not the script she's used to.

"Fraser a word...those kids are immature."

Haha yeah, you know what I think really weirded him out there? In his mind, when he and Fraser eventually adopted kids, he was going to be the good parent, and now it turns out Fraser's great with kids and maybe Ray's the incompetent one, and again it's not the script he was expecting.

[thisgirlsays22]

Oh I love this about flipping the scripts from both those examples. Especially the idea of both Ray and Stella recoiling when the script is flipped. (Stella can't be the one to reach out to me! She's supposed to keep pushing me away!! Ray can't be the one to push me away he's supposed to desperately want me back!!)

I love the idea of Ray's thoughts about how he'll be as a parent being flipped on their head/especially with a Fraser/Ray slant of 'wait I'm cool awesome good dad, Fraser is supposed to have a harder time??'

[ride_4ever]

The meta here is so excellent -- I don't have something to add -- I just want to be here sharing the <3 of dS!